Let’s say you’ve had your eye on a new car. You’ve been saving and dreaming and waiting to make one last payment on your clunker. You’ve been hanging around dealerships – you know – being a playa – making sure they know your face so that when you’re ready to make the move it’ll be all good. You’ve been telling anyone who’d listen about your dreams for the last six months. Yes!
You’re cleaning up the supper dishes and hear a horn outside. You look out the kitchen window and your best friend is getting out of a brand new Hummer. Do you feel it? “Look what I just bought,” she says as she rattles the keys in your face. “Come on I’ll take you for a spin!” Oh, things are spinning alright – head, stomach and the green eyes rolling into the back of your head. She didn’t need a new car. Her car is only two years old. She’s still paying for her last pair of Jimmie Choo’s; she can’t afford a car. She can’t even drive a stick! She doesn’t even tithe. Wow! Okay, maybe that’s never happened to you.
I spent some time in therapy where I was taught about the difference between jealousy and envy. While I’ve never seen much of a distinction in the dictionary, I kind of like the definitions I learned in rehab. Jealousy is the emotion that is produced when another person gets something I wish I had. Envy is the emotion that is produced when another person gets something I think I should have and I don’t think they deserve it.
I don’t often use the word hate so, when I do, I really mean it. I hate jealousy and envy whether they’re the same thing or not. People who exhibit these traits are usually very ugly to be around. Is it normal to want things? Of course it is. Is it wrong? No. What annoys me are people who are so busy wanting and believing they deserve something and others don’t. What are we saying about God’s provision for us when we prefer what others have over what we have? How are we being loving to others when we inwardly desire what someone else has been given while believing that we are more deserving? Are we really more deserving with those attitudes of covetousness?
Envy and jealousy cause division. They are the evil that become a bitter root. They grow in darkness because we hide them. We hide them because we know how very ugly they are. They do not love. Proverbs 6:16-19 says that there are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to Him. When we read this list, it is clear that several of the things He hates are direct results of envy and jealousy.
There is an antidote; a genuine spirit of gratitude for our blessings, circumstances and gifts, and a giving heart, cures all envy and jealousy - and love covers over a multitude of wrongs.
