There was a time when I was so overcome by bitterness and anger that I used to secretly pray to God, who I really didn’t understand at the time, that He would smite someone who was physically and emotionally abusive toward me. The bitterness and anger became a part of me. It took root inside me and began to grow. It was debilitating and had grown into something that was far greater than me. It was powerful. I had stomach problems, headaches, migraines, tremors, nightmares and those were just the physical side-effects that hatred had on me. In truth and retrospect, I imagine that the individual who was the focus of almost every waking moment of my days had no idea how deeply I felt and likely lost no sleep out of concern for me.
I’m sharing this today because I know too well the effects of anger and how they can strangle us, stunt our growth, and shorten our quality of life and expectancy. People, life is just too short to waste it!
Francis Frangipane once said, “Bitterness is unfulfilled revenge.” In His warning against refusing God, Jesus said, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; with out holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many,” (Heb. 12:14-15).
There were two reasons I had to find a way to let go of the bitter root: my unforgiveness was killing me inside and, it was separating me from God. In Luke 7:47 Jesus said, “But he who has been forgiven little loves little.” In Matthew 6:15 He also said, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
If we don’t forgive, we’re not forgiven. If we don’t forgive, Christ died in vain. The apostle Paul said of love, “it keeps no records of wrongs...Love does not delight in evil,” (1 Cor. 13:5-6). You’re probably thinking, wow, that’s a shift. It was. It’s not easy. When the need to be right and the need to avenge exceeds the desire to be free we are in some pretty intense emotional bondage. The only way to freedom is through Jesus, “who the Son sets free is free indeed,” (John 8:36). The most excellent way is love. Love conquers all. Love never fails.
Can you forgive the mother who abandoned you, or the father who abused you? Can you forgive the spouse who broke the promise they kept to be faithful and love you until death? Can you forgive the daughter who came home pregnant and shamed the family name when she showed up at church with a bump in her belly and no ring on her finger? Can you forgive the friend who says they’ll call and never does? Can you forgive yourself for all the promises you made to God and broke, for your sexual promiscuity; for not finishing school, or for the two months you robbed from your children while you cleaned up in rehab? There is a way – only one way.
God’s provision is total forgiveness for yesterday, today and tomorrow.
