Decision: the result of weighing all factors to be considered; a final determination; a formal judgment.
Sounds simple enough. I can’t count all the times I’ve come to a ‘decision’ on a matter only to find it was no decision at all. I waver, unsure of whether I’ve made the correct conclusion so, in effect, I’ve not made the decision, I’m still deciding.
Surrendering to Christ, to lay my burdens at the foot of the cross in trust and faith, is something I do often. I see it as my crawling onto the altar as a sacrifice only to find myself crawling off minutes or hours later.
I’ve been thinking about the Israelites a lot lately. How difficult it must have been for them. When we read about it we can’t understand what the big decision was all about “Just cross!” It’s not as if they hadn’t witnessed 10 plagues to convince them of God’s power, right? But we weren’t there. We didn’t experience that moment.
I have compassion for them. I’m experiencing my Red Sea dilemma right now. I thought I decided to cross a few days ago, but it burdens my mind still. I look behind and see the Egyptians coming after me; the bondage and oppression still haunts my thoughts. The thought of going back is enough to darken whatever light keeps the flame in my spirit flickering. Then I turn and look ahead. Can he surely part that water and keep it parted until I’m all the way across? Yes, I remember the 10 plagues He’s brought me through. But, that was then. This is now. Does He really want me to cross? I know He does, I’m just afraid because I don’t know what’s on the other side. I do know this; He’s never lead me down the wrong path yet.
Being in God’s perfect will isn’t easy and it’s next to impossible to do if we are not in relationship with Him. I asked Him for a door to appear. He made it happen. I prayed for Him to open it. He did. So, I walked through it and I’ve been running back and forth ever since. I keep looking for signs, ignoring the ones I’ve already been shown. Old habits die hard. Yet, He changes not. He doesn’t get frustrated or impatient by my ways. He sees opportunities to bring me to yet another level of understanding.
A wise man once said to me, if you want to know if you’re in God’s will, open His word; His truth and perfect will are found therein. So, I did just that.
1 Peter 6-10 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”
Lord I pray for myself, and all my brothers and sisters, who are asking whether they are to cross or not to cross, that you would reveal your perfect will. Open doors through which they should walk, part the seas that are blocking their passages. Close doors behind which the prowler is seeking to devour; close them and bolt them shut. Teach us how to let go, once for all time, and to let you. Amen.
