My wonderful pastor, Jason Boucher, is doing a series about confessions this week. Yesterday’s post was about comparisons. While I know as a Christian the only one I should ever compare myself to is Jesus, I fall short in that department far too often. It’s much easier to compare myself, (let’s face it, I’m going to do it), to someone who is literally walking in the flesh – another human being. There is something truly enriching about doing life with people who have the courage to be transparent; my pastor and his beautiful wife, Lori, are two people who have that courage.
While it might sound strange, I rarely dare to compare my spiritual walk to others. I know I’d never make the mark anyway. However, listening to someone I love and respect share their confessions or vulnerabilities speaks to my heart. I am inspired by people who aren’t always performing to an audience – you know – pretending they’ve got everything under control all the time, or acting as if they have no struggles with sin, or temptation, in their lives. I think living authentically is the greatest approach to leadership. Pretending to be perfect only inspires others to be deceitful or secretive; people usually want to follow a leader that they can learn from.
As a follower of Christ, my ministry is to lead others to Him so I can’t expect others to behave or believe what I don’t do or think myself. After reading Pastor Jason’s blog yesterday I realized that not only did I do a reverse comparison yesterday at work, but I also tried to cover it up in order to hide my insecurity thus requiring a full confession afterward.
I was comforting a friend of mine yesterday who was feeling somewhat insecure. She is beautiful. Even greater than her obvious external beauty is the beauty that radiates from within her. “If only you could see what everyone else sees. What hinders you from realizing what a beautiful woman you are? Why can’t you believe what I’m telling you?”What may not be obvious is the fact that I was insinuating that I am able to see my own internal beauty. It was kind of one of those ‘take my advice, I’m not using it’ moments.
In my arrogance I was essentially telling her that she should be like me – compare herself to me – as if I’ve got this insecurity thing down pat. OY! Did that get a look. I knew what that look meant the moment I saw it. I had been caught in the act.
If there is anything worse than comparing myself to someone else it must be comparing them to me; adding insult to injury would be my flagrant hypocrisy. I confess that in my insecurity I am also arrogant.
Allow me to express a positive side to this confession. Hey! I’m gonna find one! I’ve learned two valuable lessons: 1) speak less; 2) if I must compare, I will compare apples with apples and oranges with oranges.
