Several weeks ago I was asked to consider taking a new position. I knew that the position would be challenging and I would be good at it but I declined. Within minutes, I was asked to take some time to deliberate. I gave good reasons why I wasn’t interested and refused the offer, putting it out of my thoughts.
Last week I was asked if I had given any thought to the matter. Surprised by the question, I enquired as to whether I had been ambiguous in my original answer.
I drove home that evening wondering if this “opportunity” is part of God’s plan for me. So, I talked to Him about it. “If this is something from You let me know and I’ll do it. If it’s not please close this door.”
This door doesn’t seem to be latching. It’s been on my mind. Seriously, I am not interested at all and here’s why: this is a job that is going to place me in a position where I will be doing nothing but process design and implementing very unpopular changes. On a daily basis, I would be seen as a drill sergeant. People don’t embrace change, especially the kind of change I’d be introducing. Frankly, the thought of getting up every morning and doing this kind of work for 8 hours a day is something that would mess with my contentedness. What is really bothersome is the fact that I would have very limited prospects for being salt and light, and I think that surely I would feel without purpose. I’m afraid I’m going to turn crusty if I take this job.
Someone told me today that God can use me anywhere. Of course He can, but He has a plan and that’s the plan I want to follow. The pressure is on and I feel myself slipping into a people pleasing situation because, as time goes on, the need for someone to do the work becomes more urgent.
Am I listening hard enough? I know God cares about the details of our lives but is it possible that He really has no opinion on this, and He’s just waiting for me to decide on my own? I know He also speaks through others, so feel free ... I’m all ears.
