No worries, the blush hasn't faded from the flower already. I'm still loving the job. That being said, I learned something worthy of sharing. Yesterday afternoon I was required to attend a meeting in a rather large boardroom – a rather large boardroom with rather large chairs. I was the only woman present – the “odd woman out,” or in, if you will. I took my place; my feet didn’t touch the floor. The gentleman sitting beside me kindly brought to my attention that I could raise the chair. However, in doing so, the table would have brought more attention to the fact that I didn’t “fit.” I wanted to runaway and hide.
Hmm. Didn’t fit. There’s just a little more to this story. I’m going through a learning curve. I’ve moved from a job where I felt comfortable and competent into an arena where I have much to learn and find myself feeling somewhat inept. I wanted to runaway and hide. I wanted to go back to my old job. I wanted to give up .... already!
Given the situation, not fitting into the chair had a bit more of an impact on my psyche than I care to admit, (gee I hate that pride thing). Almost immediately after the chair incident, I temporarily lost my confidence – in myself - and my faith that God would work everything out for the best. Intellectually, I understood and understand that He has a purpose; my attitude determines how well that purpose is fulfilled.
I know that this move was a God thing. I’ve been concentrating on all the work He’s been doing in me and through me. I must confess – it’s not been effortless. Change is very difficult for me, but I know that He is doing transforming work and so, once again, I surrendered my reluctance to do what I believe He wanted me to do.
So, how did I get through it? I prayed and thanked Him for the opportunity to do His will. I asked for strength and comfort. I laughed at myself and then reminded myself that it’s not about me, and everything worked out.
“Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise,” Heb. 10:35-36.
