Even in a normal family, a reunion can stir up discord. It always seems that the very two that should never be left alone together always seem to end up breathing down each others’ necks, making everyone else wish they were invisible.
Last week, I introduced you to IDA. This week, IDA attended a family reunion and met OTTA and between the two of them there was enough friction to start a bonfire with wet kindling.
I have an expression that, unfortunately, I use far too often . . . “take my advice, I’m not using it.” I OTTA know better.
I grew up in a home where there was a lot of anger. There was a lot of sarcasm, passive-aggressive behaviour, and then one day – BAM! – someone would blow up. I detest being angry. It stirs up emotions inside that I don’t even recognize. It manifests itself in physiological symptoms that feel as if they have control over my body.
Because I don’t like being angry, I try and pooh-pooh everything away, shoving it down, telling myself that whatever it is it's too insignificant to warrant my reaction or attention. That’s not a healthy thing to do; I’m working on it . . . STILL.
I think I have this messed-up errant belief that a “good Christian” just doesn’t get angry. I know that isn’t true. Jesus never said not to get angry, He just said not to let the sun go down on our anger. I spend so much time trying to deny uncomfortable emotions that eventually I don’t even know where they’ve come from.
My boss asked me if something was bothering me yesterday. As I began telling him, I realized that my reason for being bothered was simply ridiculous. He knows I’m not prone to getting upset over something that inconsequential so he kept digging, “What else? What else? What else?” He continued until finally the real reason came out – something I had deemed as stupid and shoved down with everything else.
I think anger is a secondary emotion; it’s the result of another emotion not being addressed. It usually starts when IDA walks into the room and meets OTTA. I OTTA know better by now. But instead of looking at how far I’ve come, I look at where I think I OTTA be and it just doesn’t work that way, does it?
Have you ever met Otta?
“Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything,” James 1:4.
