I’m thinking about having a surgical procedure done; I really need to have my lips sewn together because it seems that this will be the only way to surely keep my tongue from flapping off its roller.
Talking can be a dangerous thing, not just talking to others, or about others, but revealing something about yourself which ends in the phrase, “I wish I wasn’t like that” or “I wish God would change that about me.” It’s not as if I haven’t experienced enough to have learned that God answers prayers. Is not one of my favourite sayings, “Watch what you pray for, you just might get it?” Huh? I ask you?? Why do I keep letting these things slip out? I’ll tell you why! My tongue is alive – it has a life of its own – it seems to be an entity in and of itself.
So, here’s the thing: I’m in a conversation the other day with a close friend. I’m revealing to her my dislike for most opportunities to socialize with people – parties, dinners, you get the picture. I end my phrase with, “I wish God would show me what that’s all about because I wish I wasn’t like that.” (You can’t see me, but I’m still shaking me head). She’s shocked and I’m all do you know me at all? Soooo, my friend pipes up and says, “maybe you’re afraid of people.” Gulp. Huh? Wha? Ding, ding, ding. Wait – that can’t possibly be it! Can it???? Her comment has left me drilling down beneath the surface to find out why I go to such great lengths to avoid people – especially meeting new ones. Opportunity might be knocking, but while it knocks I’m trying to bolt the door shut.
There’s an expression people use a lot, “hurting people hurt people.” Yes they do indeedie. I have inflicted and been afflicted and it’s not fun – even for the inflictor. I have to admit that this fear of being hurt affects my willingness to stick my neck out there on the social chopping-block if you will. So, sighing loud enough to wake the dog, what’s a person to do in such a situation? Feel the fear and do it anyway! Trust! Ask God for His help … OY!
You know. When you ask for His input He’s always the comedian. He’s already staged His opening act by presenting me with more social situations than I can fend off with a stick. I’ll go, but I’m not gonna like it – until He changes me that is.
“Be transformed by the renewing of your mind,” Romans 12:2.
