The other day a beautiful young woman confided "Love sucks.” My heart almost broke for her. Her statement resonated deeply inside my heart, my close-to-being-healed heart. What can hurt more than to see such a young person say something like that with such conviction? I believe, with everything in me, that she honestly believed what she was saying. I remember – not all that long ago – holding close that exact sentiment.
What makes us like that? I never wanted to live with such a cynical disposition, but I did. I never wanted to build a fortress around my heart and close myself off from the potential of experiencing love – giving and receiving, but I did. I never wanted to spend countless hours convincing myself that love sucks – that it stinks – but I did; I didn’t feel as if I had a choice. People have been used and abused, hurt and disrespected, cheated on and lied to – some people have experienced it from parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses and even friends and children. Please note: I am in no way advocating anyone remaining in a relationship where they are currently being abused.
It’s what I learned of the love of God that changed my perspective – not overnight – slowly and surely. It’s knowing that no matter who hurts me, or how deeply, He never will and He’ll always be there. I know that He loves perfectly because He is the expression of love – He is love. Because I trust him – that He’ll guide me in relationships, teach me about healthy love and boundaries, and that He’ll be there for me – I’m now willing to risk loving and being loved.
Love doesn’t suck, but some people do things that suck. Love doesn’t stink, but some people just stink at loving others – usually because of how they were loved. We don’t have to walk around the rest of our days on this earth hiding the scabs, bruises and scars that “love” has left on our hearts. God’s love is a healing love, it’s anointed with grace and forgiveness. We cannot accept His love when we harbour unforgiveness for our past hurts nor can we heal when we hang on to the pain and isolate ourselves, presuming that history will always repeat itself. As God’s love grows in us we grow in love.
“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath,” Psalm 34:18 MSG.
