A parent’s love is sought by a child even if that love is withheld; it’s innate. Too many are the children who – now as adults – still pursue that love with diligence and perseverance. Such was my case. I don’t share this in order to seek sympathy – no. I have found a better love. I have found an unconditional love.
I cannot remember a time in my life when I wasn’t seeking to be loved. When it was withheld, I would instinctively look elsewhere and be disappointed. Even in the best loving relationship there has – at least for me – remained an incompleteness. My heart’s desire cannot be adequately expressed. In the depths of my heart and soul has always been a desire for completeness, like a seed planted in the soil waiting to be watered. The seed can remain planted for years, giving and receiving nothing. It’s dormant – having no knowledge that it can actually LIVE and produce fruit. The fact that it is asleep however, makes it no less a seed, its purpose remains.
As far back as my memory goes, I have always had this built-in longing - the desire to love and be loved by my Parent, my Father, the One whose DNA lives inside me calling me into alignment with Him. He desired me before I was; He created me with a desire for natural alignment with Him. I had been asleep for so long, living underground, until one day, the rain came down.
No longer do I feel the need to seek from others what can only be fulfilled in Him and by Him. That emptiness has been filled. I am whole. My only real desire is for Him, to seek Him always, and to live in Him as He lives in me.
“I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me,” Song of Solomon 7:10.
