Most people only see one side of us – the side we want them to see. A rebellious people-pleaser is a good term to describe the kind of person I was for much of my life. I’ve spent a good deal of my time on this planet much like the little boy who is repeatedly told by his teacher, “Sit down!” Eventually, he sits – but not without adding, “But I’m standing up on this inside!” That provokes quite a visual doesn’t it? Can you relate? Is someone you know just like that? Of course, not you. That is a fairly accurate description of most of my past relationships, including my relationship with God.
At some point in my life however, my legs, (and my spirit), became fatigued from all that standing; it wasn’t long after that realization that I raised the white flag and surrendered my heart to God.
Hypocrisy in a person’s life can often be a precursor to this type of attitude. You know the old saying, “do what I say and not what I do”. Words hold a world of power but if you really want to win someone over – words need to be backed up with action.
Jesus said, “If you love me you will obey what I command,” (John 14:15). I said yes, but I didn’t. Doing what He commanded required that I sacrifice my physical, emotional and spiritual comfort (I should say, “comfort zone”). The first six months of my surrender were spent standing up – for my rights and for my comfort. It wasn’t until I began studying the Scriptures, studying the people, their circumstances, their personalities and the sacrifices that were made by so many to prove their love by action – in obedience. God required it from The Beginning, and Jesus would require nothing less.
Abraham, Moses, and David all obeyed and, of course, they all had their “standing up on the inside” moments, but for the most part they obeyed and things went well for them, and those around them.
If you think rebellious people-pleasing is an oxymoron, how about surrendered-control? I feel as if my life is under complete control rather than being completely controlled. So, the old me said “yes” and didn’t, but the new me did – the new me prefers to sit at the feet of the Master of the Vineyard. What’s so wonderful is that if, one day, I do stand – I know that tomorrow is a new day.
“There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, 'Son, go and work today in the vineyard. 'I will not,' he answered, but later he changed his mind and went. Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, 'I will, sir,' but he did not go. Which of the two did what his father wanted?’ ‘The first,’ they answered.” Matt. 21:28-31 NIV.
