The definition of “trust” is to have complete confidence, or faith, in someone – complete confidence. Betrayal is deception that causes someone to believe an untruth. White lies, omissions – let’s face it – a lie is a lie regardless of its colour or costume.
I’ve heard tell that trust is something that must be earned; I don’t think that’s always the case and, for me to put that in writing, is astounding. Trusting, like loving and giving, is a choice. I have always thought of myself as an individual who has great difficulty trusting people.
In thoughtful retrospect, I’ve come to realize that I’ve never had trouble trusting people from the onset. My apprehension and anxiety comes from learning, or trying, to trust someone after they’ve betrayed me. The greatest challenge comes in those relationships where my heart has made a significant investment. Trust is broken and from the initial betrayal anger steams. The root of that anger however is always pain and, greater yet, the fear that it will recur. Fear is a root that flourishes whenever it’s planted.
Jesus said that if someone sins against us, that includes betrayal, we are to forgive seventy times seven – or in other words – always and completely. This is where I need His help. As a follower of Christ I often get confused between restoration and reconciliation; they don’t necessarily go hand in hand, but when the one who has betrayed you is someone you love deeply whom you know, in your heart, did not intend to hurt you that presents a true challenge. This too I have given much thought.
The solution is clear once the steam blows away. Putting complete confidence, or faith, in another human being is placing a responsibility on one’s shoulders that they were never meant to bear. An expectation that no one will ever breach your trust makes no sense whatsoever – it’s inhumane to expect perfection from the imperfect. It’s a sin against God to place our complete faith in anyone but Him. And so, I bear some responsibility in my own sorrow.
Anger steams - forgiveness seams.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you,” Ephesians 4:31-32.
