Unveiling Hope

Tell Me Something Good

Perhaps I’ve become overly sensitive since reaching the BIG 50! Maybe I always was and only recently have been awakened to the fact that I’m sensitive.

I have a message to share to all the wonderful people who feel it’s imperative to point out others physical faults and/or blemishes. I’m sure you mean well because I can’t imagine that you would deliberately set your mind to knock down or hurt another human being.

I have to ask … is it really necessary to tell someone, or everyone, that they have a blemish on their face, or that their eyes look puffy, or that they have a crooked tooth? Is it important to tell someone that you’ve noticed they’ve gained a bit of weight, or . . . whatever!? Is this information news-worthy? Has anyone ever been shocked to hear they’ve gained weight or have a pimple smack-dab between their eyes? How do you feel now that you’ve got that off your chest? Excuse me while I run after my friend who is now in tears . . . or my child whose confidence is beaten down.

How important is it to share this information? How do these observations help a person grow? How does this information encourage and edify? How will this help that person in any way?

Personally speaking, if my character is need of adjusting, point it out with grace before truth. If my heart isn’t in the right place, show me where it should be with grace before truth. If I’ve said something out of line, correct me with grace before truth. Tell me something good, but please - it’s really not necessary to point out, or overstate the obvious. People are all too aware already of our physical shortcomings and “blemishes”. I see myself in the mirror every single morning, and truth be told – I do my very best to hide from you what you so diligently point out to me and particularly to those whom I love.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Phil. 4:8.

Blue Flower, Red Thorns

It was Shrek, the greatest animated ogre of the twenty-first century who said, “Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Blue flower, red thorns! Oh, this would be so much easier if I wasn’t colour-blind!” I was always a sensitive child. It took years and years to learn how to hide my feelings – even then – it wasn’t easy and it didn’t work well. I had been taught that displays of emotion, especially those accompanied by tears, were a sign of weakness; weak people have no pride or self-respect – they let people walk all over them. I never understood what I was being taught, but like much of my time spent in school – I faked it pretty good – I fooled a lot of people. My proficiency in holding myself together increased, so I thought, but every now and then the dam would give way and I’d feel as if I was drowning in a flood of tears, swimming in failure. I cursed my sensitivity. I wished I couldn’t feel. I became angry with God for making me such a sap; I felt as if He was laughing at me, messing with my head. He made me weak! Just when you think you’ve got things all together – you’ve got your head on straight and tight … A friend and I were discussing the perpetual thorns that seem to poke at us as we do life – with others, with family, with God. What the thorn is doesn’t really matter – it’s the root of the matter that is significant. It seems as though that thorn always knows where to dig, jab, or stab, and when. This past year – OY – it’s hurt. As I compose this post, it occurs to me that I can’t remember having cried so many tears before. But I want to share something with you: this past year has also been the greatest year of my life because of and despite the hurt. Blue flower, red thorns. God has shown me that without the abundant portion of emotion He’s given me – He’s blessed me with – I wouldn’t need Him the way I do. I wouldn’t desire to be His favourite daughter, or His BFF, or a servant after His own heart. I wouldn’t hurt about what hurts Him. I wouldn’t feel compassion for those He loves. I wouldn’t be grateful for what I've been given, what I’ve been taken through, for how much and well I’ve been loved nor would I appreciate the cost of that love. None of that would make a difference if I couldn’t feel. I am learning to live life and to love life with that thorn. I am finally grasping the truth that the thorn doesn’t make the rose any less beautiful. I don’t want to go through life in black and white. I don’t want to be colour-blind anymore. I’ll be that flower – thorn and all – because I know I was fearfully and wonderfully made; I know that full well. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Cor. 12:9.

Make the Call

Have you been in that dark place? Maybe you're there now? The place where solitude has a strangle hold on your life? With every breath you breathe you long to reach out, but with each passing breath it becomes more and more difficult. The paralysis of loneliness has set in; the enemy has all but snuffed out every ounce of hope from your spirit. You cling to your faith with your very life. You’re battle-fatigued.

You have some great friends. They pray for you, they call or email you. They know you can’t make it through this crisis alone. They’ve all but begged you to call them when you need them, whether it’s to vent, to cry, or just to get away from your situation for an hour. You wanted to make one of those calls last week, but you thought – all I ever do is talk about the same problem, ask for the same prayers. You don’t want to be a burden. You don’t want to bother them, they all have issues and concerns to tend to in their own lives.

So you don’t call. You need to be the strong one in this situation. The pressure seems to lay squarely on your shoulders. You know God is working things out, but you just can’t hold yourself together anymore.

Have you been in this situation before? Are you in this position now? Can you, just for a moment, put one of your friends in your situation? Now, answer this question: wouldn’t you want them to call you? Would you think your friends are burdensome? Would you tire of listening to them, or would you just want to lavish your love, support, and encouragement on them? I thought so. Do yourself a favour, make the call. Let your friends fulfill their callings.

“Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Gal. 6:2.

Putting a New Spin on Life

Life Centre has been doing a series of talks entitled Whispers. During the first talk I found myself feeling pretty proud (oh oh); thinking I really don’t have a problem hearing God. This past Sunday however, I was humbled to tears.

This past year or so has been tremendous as far as spiritual seasons have been concerned. God has faithfully brought me and my family through some pretty tight and tough spots. He has been more faithful than I. In this last month or so I have heard Him speaking to me but have failed to listen and obey.

I’m a doer. I shamefully admit that rather than seek my value and worth in God, I – all too often – find my value in what I accomplish. Summer has always been a difficult time for me, both in the spiritual and natural realms. Overachievers do not fair well with times of refreshing. I should be brutally honest in my confession; I feel completely useless and without value during the natural season of summer. I feel off kilter, out of sorts, and I don’t know how to relax.

On Sunday, Pastor Jason so eloquently spoke of how many people go through life trying to seek a natural balance by spinning the plates that represent the facets and priorities of their lives. I’ve become quite adept at spinning, but I understand completely now that even when the process appears to be working, it doesn’t – not for the long haul. 

God has been trying to impress upon me that He has placed me in a season of rest. This past Sunday, He stopped talking and took matters into His own hands. He showed me that I have been rebellious. You can be a consummate professional at spinning plates, but when God can’t get your attention by speaking to you – He might just very well remove a plate or two. That’s what got my attention.

Are you spinning?

“So Eli told Samuel, “Go and lie down, and if he calls you, say, 'Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.' " So Samuel went and lay down in his place. The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!" Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening." 1 Samuel 3:9-10 ESV.

Some Things Should Never Mix

If I was a vegetarian I would starve to death. My repertoire of veggies is sorely limited to: corn, potatoes, broccoli, tomatoes (which is technically a fruit), celery and lettuce. That’s it. I refuse to apologize to my children for having limited their formative years to believing that those were the only veggies in existence. Why? Because they developed their own sense of taste over the years and have moved beyond the restrictions my palate placed on them and have embraced many veggies that you’d have to put a gun to my head for me to try. Yeah! That’s right. Some of them I’ve never even tried!

I’m not ignorant of the fact that eating vegetables is important to my health so, I try and scarf down a V-8 once in a while. I noticed this wild commercial on TV for V-Fusion. THEY said that I could get my serving of veggies in a fruit drink and not even taste the vegetables. I bought a HUGE bottle of Strawberry Banana V-Fusion. THEY LIED. I distinctly tasted carrot in my first gulp. Some things should never mix – they just weren’t meant to be.

So . . . I have this acquaintance who has fallen head over heals with someone who doesn’t believe in God. I didn’t even know she was dating him. She told me not to worry. She knows that Christians are not supposed to be unequally yoked but she “has it all under control.” What can I say. She’s already acquainted with the biblical perspective and the reasoning behind it. All I can do is continue to love her, meet him and love him, and pray to Almighty God that He works a miracle.

This past weekend she told me they went to see a psychic who believes they were “meant to be.” And there we have it. Some things should never mix. So, I’m praying for wisdom and understanding and a couple of pounds of unrelenting grace. I just hope she notices the taste of carrot in her fruit drink sooner rather than later.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails,” 1 Corinthians 14:4-8 NIV.

Some People Stink

The other day a beautiful young woman confided "Love sucks.” My heart almost broke for her. Her statement resonated deeply inside my heart, my close-to-being-healed heart. What can hurt more than to see such a young person say something like that with such conviction? I believe, with everything in me, that she honestly believed what she was saying. I remember – not all that long ago – holding close that exact sentiment.

What makes us like that? I never wanted to live with such a cynical disposition, but I did. I never wanted to build a fortress around my heart and close myself off from the potential of experiencing love – giving and receiving, but I did. I never wanted to spend countless hours convincing myself that love sucks – that it stinks – but I did; I didn’t feel as if I had a choice. People have been used and abused, hurt and disrespected, cheated on and lied to – some people have experienced it from parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses and even friends and children. Please note: I am in no way advocating anyone remaining in a relationship where they are currently being abused.

It’s what I learned of the love of God that changed my perspective – not overnight – slowly and surely. It’s knowing that no matter who hurts me, or how deeply, He never will and He’ll always be there. I know that He loves perfectly because He is the expression of love – He is love. Because I trust him – that He’ll guide me in relationships, teach me about healthy love and boundaries, and that He’ll be there for me – I’m now willing to risk loving and being loved.

Love doesn’t suck, but some people do things that suck. Love doesn’t stink, but some people just stink at loving others – usually because of how they were loved. We don’t have to walk around the rest of our days on this earth hiding the scabs, bruises and scars that “love” has left on our hearts. God’s love is a healing love, it’s anointed with grace and forgiveness. We cannot accept His love when we harbour unforgiveness for our past hurts nor can we heal when we hang on to the pain and isolate ourselves, presuming that history will always repeat itself. As God’s love grows in us we grow in love.

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath,” Psalm 34:18 MSG.

Who Gets the Last Word?

Last week I had one of those days. You know … the kind of day where all the little things in life, that on their own are minor irritations or concerns, seem to join together and take on a life of their own. The kind of day when the enemy whispers little nasties in your ear incessantly – the kind of day where you just seem to be listening to everything he has to say – he gets the last word.

The Bible counsels us to take our thoughts captive. Sometimes however, by the time we notice our thoughts have become prisoners of war. Having the discernment to notice before is a gift. It’s a gift that lives within each of us and grows as we grow. An unawareness of that discernment does not mean there’s no escape. Nothing is impossible with God. The moment we become aware of the thoughts that are bringing or keeping us down THIS is the time we can take action. We no longer have to choose to be a prisoner; we can choose freedom. We don’t have to let the enemy have the last word.

God’s Word is immutable – an immovable anchor in every storm. God’s Word tells us who we are in Him; it tells us that He abides in us when we abide in Him – in His Word – His living Word.

If someone is going to have the last word in your life, don’t you think you should decide who get’s the last word?

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12 ESV.

A Light in the Darkness

I used to live my present in my past. It was a very dark and lonely place. The greatest gift I’ve ever received came from my past and that gift – that Gift – is the Light that lead me out of the darkness of despair and desolation. There are times when I’ll be looking into someone’s eyes and seeing a deadness, a lack of hope, reflecting from their hearts into their eyes; it’s as if there’s a barrier that prevents light from entering.

In his book, The Purpose Driven Life , Rick Warren wrote that God never wastes a hurt. I remember the first time I read that line; it was a relief. It was a relief to know that the darkness I had lived in for so many years would one day bring Light into someone else’s darkness.

If someone would have told me six years ago that I would soon give my heart and soul to Jesus Christ I would have laughed them right out of town. But today I can’t even begin to express the gratitude in my heart that exists because He chose me. He was the Light that shone in the darkness that was my life. He gave me life. He gave me hope – a hope that never fails because His love never fails.

“In him was life, and the life was the light of men,” John 1:4.

Stoking the Fire

Years ago, a group of us spent a weekend at a friend’s cottage one late October. The sun set early; in order to stay warm we had to build a fire in the hearth. It was pleasant chatting with each other into the late hours of the night – sitting in front of a crackling, warm fire. The fireplace however was the only source of heat. There were six of us. We had decided that we would pair up and each take a watch during the night to make sure the fire didn’t go out.

Having spent much of the day outdoors in the fresh air, we were physically wiped out. We knew it wouldn’t be easy staying up – especially in front of a nice cozy fire - and that is why we decided to do the watches in pairs. Exposure is dangerous and can catch a person by surprise even after a couple of hours. Having someone else to chat with was helpful in keeping us awake but the first pair of ladies found it the most difficult because – like the rest of the group – they were tired and needed sleep as well.

As one of the women in the first watch, I can tell you that it was more tempting than one would think to just close my eyes for 5 minutes. But I knew myself and I knew my friend. The fire would have ended up going out and we would have frozen. We weren’t able to put more logs on the fire before it was time because we would have created a blaze and wasted wood.

The Bible recounts Jesus’ rebuke of three disciples who couldn’t stay awake and pray for Him at the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus told them to remain awake and alert lest they fall into temptation.

It occurs to me, when thinking back on that weekend, that my relationship with Christ can be compared to it far too easily. When I first gave my heart to Him, my passion for Him was on fire. As I became comfy and cozy in our relationship, it was much like that first night at the cottage – I wanted to sleep – like Peter and his friends did. There are times when I realize that I have dozed off a bit in my relationship with Jesus. There are times when I awaken, shivering, to find that there remains only embers left in the hearth of our relationship and it’s all my doing. All I have to do is move a little bit closer – make an effort – stay alert and awake.

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you,” James 4:8.

The Roll of an Eye and a Deep Sigh

Webster’s defines word patient as: “bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint.” I’m not the most patient person in the world. An exercise in patience, for me,  usually begins with an eye roll and a deep sigh.

Lately I’ve been praying that God’s Spirit would teach me how to love the way He loves. Ironically, as I grow and mature I am beginning to grasp the fact that the love of God is so very boundless and immeasurable that rather than learning to love more each day I seem to be developing an awareness that I know less and less about love each day. That is just how great His love is.

Obviously – if I’m growing at all – I am learning how to love more, but this agape love is so awesome that my lack of understanding overwhelms me to the core. As a result – I feel each day as if I have more to learn about it than the day before. That in itself is a revelation that is difficult to wrap my head around. Perhaps that’s the point. Love isn’t something that is done with one’s head; it’s a decision that is first made with a person’s heart and carried out by the presence of the heart and mind of Christ..

The Bible says: “Love is patient AND kind.” I know from experience that it is difficult to be kind when I’m impatient. When my patience is not being tested, it is easy to love. It’s clear however that this kind of love is not really love at all. I don’t think it’s a mistake that the words “patient” and “kind” occur together and are joined by the word “and”.

The beginning of an exercise in learning patience is the beginning of an exercise in learning how to love unconditionally. Love does not begin with an eye roll and a deep sigh, but begins with a decision to extend mercy, grace and kindness in all situations calmly and without complaint.

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God,” Ephesians 3:17-18.