Unveiling Hope

My Secret Pain Exposed on Oprah?!

I believe that everything happens for a reason and in God’s perfect time no matter how wonderful or devastating it might be. Just this morning I felt that obsessive urge to start looking up various genealogy sites, graves markers, and hospital records - as I have done for an unfathomable number of hours in the past - in the quest to find out who I am. Merely touching an old photograph can set me off; each time an entire weekend is wasted believing that this time I will stumble upon what will change my life and don’t, I promise myself I will never again pursue the quest again.  Imagine my surprise today when I saw parts of my life story being narrated by Lady O herself only hours later.

Oprah introduced the world to her half-sister Patricia today. Patricia’s story was one that resembled a story of my own. She so aptly described the shame of walking around feeling incomplete and abandoned. It’s something I rarely talk about because, as a believer I feel an additional burden of shame because I convinced myself that as a believer – with the Spirit of the Most High God Almighty living inside me – I must be grieving Him each time I admit to feeling incomplete? Yet, the ignorance to one of life’s most basic questions, “who am I” plagues me far more than I ever imagined.

“I know those feelings.” I thought to myself as I listened to Patricia speak about wanting to feel complete – about wanting to leave a family legacy to her children – a connection to someone else on the planet. She spoke with a firmness of attitude when describing, so aptly, her faith that God would – one way or another – answer her prayers and fill that void in her life.

It sounds so cliché to say you had a “aha moment” watching the Oprah Winfrey show, but I did. I believe that every person on this planet who doesn’t know God has a hole – an incompleteness about them. Some call this the God-shaped hole. In my errant thinking I believed that if I really knew and loved God that should be sufficient and He should fill that hole completely – no questions asked. What I learned today was this: it is possible to have more than one hole in your heart. Only God can fill His place – and does, but when we trust Him with the other holes He fills them in His perfect timing. 

No Magic Potions

I’ve never met a satisfied believer and I hope I never do. I’ve never heard a believer say, “I’ve had enough. We’re good. I’m completely happy with the level of intimacy I enjoy with the Lord.”

Jesus said all the law and prophets hinged on His two greatest commandments. God is love and there is nothing more important to Him than love. He is all about entering into and maintaining intimate relationships; His ten commandments are evidence of this. The first four commandments concern our relationship with Him and the last six involve how He wants us to relate to each other. It’s altogether uncomplicated. He wants us to get life right.

I’m not one for making generalized statements about any given group of people but in this case I’m going to make an exception. I find far too many people, myself included, make being in relationships complicated particularly relationships with God.

He made it so easy for us. He gave us His Spirit and His Word yet so often we participate in conversations, and read book after book, in order to determine how best to relate with Him, how to take our relationship with Him to the next level. The truth is, there is no magical potion or formula, He’s been upfront on what to do and how to do it.

Jesus made that way for us; He is The Way. The Spirit of God is our Helper and there is nothing He wants more than to guide us in this most important and excellent endeavour. There is only one thing that we can do to grow in our intimacy with Him: “draw near to God and He will draw near to you,” James 4:8. All we have to do is want it.

He’s already done His part, “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness,” Jer. 31:3.

This is how we draw near to Him:

·         Read His Word

·         Study His Word

·         Speak His Word

·         Meditate on His Word

·         Behave in accordance with His Word

He said it, not me. “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful,” Joshua 1:8.

Be unsatisfied and love it.

Warrior Power

The Word of God spoke creation into being (Gen. 1:3 – “And God said ...”). This particular use of “word” comes from the Greek “logos” which means a living voice has called forth or decreed something.

John 1:3 reads: “All things were created through Him (through the Word).” That is to say that Jesus – the Word – birthed life.

Hebrews 4:12 describes the Word of God as “living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

Words have power – our words have power. Many of us often feel as if there is little, if anything, we can do to change the world, but there is. The power of prayer is the greatest and most powerful gift God has given us by His Mighty Spirit.

“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective,” James 5:16.

Listening Intently

When the out-of-town relatives would visit my family, anyone under the age of 25 was assigned special seating arrangements at dinner time at the famous “kiddie” table. I always thought there was some kind of covert family operation going at the “grown-up” table. The raised eyebrows, pursed lips, the head-cock, and the occasional glance at the kiddie table, were all evidence that something interesting was being said, something far too interesting for the kids to hear. Listening intently brought some success to my endeavours, but on occasion, I had to resort to more drastic measures.

Everybody knows that the dinner time conversation only gets better somewhere between the kid’s bedtime and the first cognac. As luck would have it, there was an air vent on the floor beside my bed. I spent many crawling beneath my blankets with the side of my face looking as if my face had been pressed in a waffle iron. Listening intently doesn’t begin to describe the efforts I made to hear every single word that was uttered. It was only a matter of time. . . and I had faith that my persistence would be rewarded.

The years have passed and it seems that my hearing has dulled, not so much in the natural sense as in the spiritual sense. I look back at those days gone by and think of the effort and patience I put in to listening and I ask myself, what’s happened? Why is it, when I wait for God to speak, I give up so easily; I fill those silent moments with the sound of my own voice – babbling on. Why don’t I wait until I have waffle iron face? Where’s my faith? Where’s my persistence? You’ll excuse me won’t you? I have some listening to do and it might take a while.

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know,” Jer. 33:3 NIV.

DNA: Desire for Natural Alignment

A parent’s love is sought by a child even if that love is withheld; it’s innate. Too many are the children who – now as adults – still pursue that love with diligence and perseverance. Such was my case. I don’t share this in order to seek sympathy – no. I have found a better love. I have found an unconditional love.

I cannot remember a time in my life when I wasn’t seeking to be loved. When it was withheld, I would instinctively look elsewhere and be disappointed. Even in the best loving relationship there has – at least for me – remained an incompleteness. My heart’s desire cannot be adequately expressed. In the depths of my heart and soul has always been a desire for completeness, like a seed planted in the soil waiting to be watered. The seed can remain planted for years, giving and receiving nothing. It’s dormant – having no knowledge that it can actually LIVE and produce fruit. The fact that it is asleep however, makes it no less a seed, its purpose remains.

As far back as my memory goes, I have always had this built-in longing - the desire to love and be loved by my Parent, my Father, the One whose DNA lives inside me calling me into alignment with Him. He desired me before I was; He created me with a desire for natural alignment with Him. I had been asleep for so long, living underground, until one day, the rain came down.

No longer do I feel the need to seek from others what can only be fulfilled in Him and by Him. That emptiness has been filled. I am whole. My only real desire is for Him, to seek Him always, and to live in Him as He lives in me.

“I am my beloved’s and his desire is for me,” Song of Solomon 7:10.

A Perspective on Perspective

Not too long ago, my son and I were at the other end of the city – the part of the city where I lived when I was about ten years old. Like many parents, I had recounted stories about my childhood to him – that included the story of my long and lonely walks to school during those cold winter days. I drove around the old neighbourhood and showed him my primary school and the townhouse I lived in.

“Mom!” he said, “I thought you told me your school was like two miles away?! It’s like not even a block away!” A flashback to my childhood flooded my mind as I looked at my former home, and then the school, and then my home again. He was right, it was – at the very most – half a city block away. It was so much farther when I was smaller!

It seems that I have made a habit throughout my life of seeing things bigger than they are. I am far too easily intimidated when it comes to things that seem out of my reach, or difficult. I let fear settle in and over-power me as if I’m a tiny little minnow swimming about in the sea. Lately however, thanks be to God, I have come to realize that there is nothing – no one – greater and more powerful than He is. He is for me and not against me. He’s on my side. He cares about the small details of my life – every detail. When I look at what seems to be a battle before me, instead of feeling small and insignificant, I need to run to Him – I need a new perspective – His perspective – on every “battle” before me.

““When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."

"But sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian."

The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?"

"But Lord , " Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family."

The LORD answered, "I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together." Judges 6:12-14.

Let Him Go - Free Galid Shalit

Location Location Location

Our city is exploding! Land that only ten years ago were fields and forests is now a booming housing industry. Beautiful homes have been built – always bigger and better with windows on every side and level. There’s no need to wait for the trees to grow and and the wonders of nature to be enjoyed - much of the natural wooded areas have been preserved. I can’t help but drive by and notice and yes …. of course … from time to time I picture myself living in one of them. Twenty-five years ago, the neighbourhood I live in today was no different from the new suburbs being constructed today. Many people love the convenience of living in the city, but who doesn’t love that country feel in your own backyard? The real estate business says it well when they say the number one selling feature of any home is: location, location, location.

I’m quite content where I am in the natural and I’m content where I am spiritually, but there are times where I can picture in my minds eye spiritually living in a new location – at a new level. My relationship with my Saviour is wonderful, but I’m always longing for more. I know that this is a want that He is only too pleased for me to desire. On the other hand however, I know that at every minute I am exactly where I should be spiritually; I also know that He loves me too much to leave me here. If you’re feeling like you too are ready for a move, wait, listen, and obey. He already has a new place in mind for you.

“If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us.” Numbers 14:8.

I Know

I know you’ve been weeping, and calling out, wondering if I hear you, wondering if I’ve ever heard you. I know.

I know you’re hurting. I know you’re feeling battle fatigued – weary – alone. I know you have many questions that haven’t been answered to your satisfaction. 

I count the times you’ve cried out to me, “I can’t handle this anymore.” I know you can – with me. I know what your made of – I created you. 

There is something you should know – something you should know and believe – six little words filled with truth, hope and promise:'

I am. I hear. I answer. 

“You will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you,” Jer. 29:12 NIV.

What Will You Plant?

If there exists a person who has never lived through turmoil or disappointment, fear or illness, rainy seasons or drought, I would like to meet that person.

I’ve noticed that during those types of seasons, I draw close to God. I draw close to God and my faith in His protection increases BUT in one way, my faith dissipates like the top layer of sand in a desert storm.

Drawing closer to God in fear is the best place to be – tucked away under His wing. The kind of faith I want however is the kind of faith that draws close to God and expects a manifestation of His power and glory to settle me, calm my fears, heal me, dry the rain or soak the land.

I watched a wonderful movie the other night: Faith Like Potatoes. Against all odds, science, common sense, Angus Buchan decided to plant potatoes during a drought because he believed God was calling him to sow his faith. After having been discouraged by his wife, pastor, brother, friends and his banker – his response was, “the condition for a miracle is difficulty; the condition for a great miracle is impossibility.” When things seem impossible, when life’s mountains seem insurmountable, do we move in faith or snuggle up under God’s wing and give Him glory for His protection? I’d rather give Him glory for His protection, His faithfulness, and His healing power and might.

Buchan made one more statement at the end of the movie, “Feel this potato, smell it. Your faith in God must be like that – must be real – you can feel it, you can smell it. Your faith in God has got to be …like potatoes.

What will you plant in this season?

“Nothing is impossible with God,” Luke 1:37.