Unveiling Hope

Being or Doing

I've always been performance based; it's all I've really ever understood. Doing my best and aiming at always trying to outdo myself has helped me achieve a lot, but nothing that's ever been of any real value to me or those I love; in fact, sometimes my performance has been costly to me and to those I love. Rather than make me a better person, being performance based has really only served to make me a little crazy and difficult to please. If you really think about it, which I suppose in hind sight I never really have until recently, how can a person do their best and then outdo themselves? Is this possible? Why would anyone even try? 

About 16 weeks ago I began preparing to participate in The Army Run, (a 5k). The first time I ran, I think I managed to get about 2 blocks away from my house before almost collapsing. As the days and weeks passed, I found myself noticing trees and flowers, smelling the bloom of nature and appreciating this time alone. I began speaking to God and I have to say, I learned to do some of my best listening during these little jaunts. About a month ago, I had finally made it to a little over 4k. I was really pushing myself and had come to realize that I had begun running for one reason and over time it just became a great way to spend time alone with Him and focus on nothing but Him; a secondary benefit to me was that I was getting in shape while all this was happening. But on this one day in particular, I kept praying, "Oh, Lord, just let me finish this last leg. I don't need to win the prize but I need to finish. Help me, Lord." I clearly heard Him answer: "You build up your physical stamina and I'll build up your spiritual stamina." 

I was reading the book of Nehemiah this morning before going out for my last run before the official run on Sunday morning. The builders Nehemiah had recruited to rebuild the wall around Jerusalem ran out of steam because they were in performance mode. Nehemiah got them all pumped up to rebuild the wall and then, when things began to go off course, the didn't know what to do and became fearful. Rather than pray or encourage one another, they gave up and stopped. 

What they had begun doing, in rebuilding the wall, was honouring God, but it wasn't the "what" that was honouring Him - it was the "why". I think this summer-long lesson of mine has finally been learned. Many of us often try and "do" our best rather than "be" our best. When we consume ourselves with turning toward Him, to seek Him with all of our hearts, and to do as He commanded, we learn to BE the best we can be - what we DO becomes our best naturally because His favour falls upon us as it did when Nehemiah and his brothers turned toward Him. They approached Him with their hearts and He upheld and blessed what they doing. 

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." 1 Cor. 9:24-25.

 

The Calm in the Storm

 I’ve been going through some memories – searching for times when strength and peace seemed to come with much more ease.  It those “remember when” moments that a person’s faith is strengthened by the courage that carried them once upon a time.

In less than one month, I'll be back in this very place. The calmest and most relaxing moments of my trip to Israel last year was a boat ride on the Sea of Galilee. The water was calm; the weather was warm and sunny – a perfect day. I began thinking about the night the disciples were on the boat and a storm began. Jesus – walking on the water – came to their rescue. Peter however mustered all the courage he could and took a step in faith.

When the skipper stopped the boat I began looking out upon the water. I wondered, if a storm kicked up right this minute, would I step out? Would I be brave enough not to take my eyes off him – even for a second?

He gave me a revelation on the Sea. He showed me that I don’t have to be on the Sea of Galilee to walk on water during a storm. Life is filled with opportunities to practice. When the winds of life are blowing and the waters grow rough, I know what I need to do. Today, I may take only a few steps, but I know that during the next storm, I’ll take a few more, and a few more the storm after that as I learn to focus on the Calm in the storm.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own,” Matt. 6:34.

In Transition

I have a friend who likes to mountain climb. She finds it exhilarating. She stands at the bottom and sees nothing but a challenge before her. The fact that it is physically strenuous is just a bonus for her. She says she does her best thinking when she’s climbing. I do my best thinking when I’m walking, on flat ground.

Before I gave my heart to the Lord, the smallest thing in my life could seem like a mountain, or a valley, more like a perpetual series of mountains and valleys; you can just imagine what the crises seemed like. There never seemed to be that nice stretch of in between – you know what I mean – the “I’m neither elated or deflated” feeling. I often longed for that somewhere-in-the-middle kind of life. Seeing something positive in a struggle was neither something I aspired to nor something that ever occurred. I always seemed to be in-transition.

More than once, I’ve heard people say, “God may take you over a mountain, around a mountain, or through the mountain, but whatever He chooses – He’ll be there with you.” Transition is an event – a journey – in which a transformation is meant to occur. We can drag our heels or look at the journey as a quest or challenge and meet it head on. Whatever that journey may be, whether over a mountain or through a valley, the peace of the Lord can be found; it’s there for the taking.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid,” John 14:27.

A Perspective on Perspective

Not too long ago, my son and I were at the other end of the city – the part of the city where I lived when I was about ten years old. Like many parents, I had recounted stories about my childhood to him – that included the story of my long and lonely walks to school during those cold winter days. I drove around the old neighbourhood and showed him my primary school and the townhouse I lived in.

“Mom!” he said, “I thought you told me your school was like two miles away?! It’s like not even a block away!” A flashback to my childhood flooded my mind as I looked at my former home, and then the school, and then my home again. He was right, it was – at the very most – half a city block away. It was so much farther when I was smaller!

It seems that I have made a habit throughout my life of seeing things bigger than they are. I am far too easily intimidated when it comes to things that seem out of my reach, or difficult. I let fear settle in and over-power me as if I’m a tiny little minnow swimming about in the sea. Lately however, thanks be to God, I have come to realize that there is nothing – no one – greater and more powerful than He is. He is for me and not against me. He’s on my side. He cares about the small details of my life – every detail. When I look at what seems to be a battle before me, instead of feeling small and insignificant, I need to run to Him – I need a new perspective – His perspective – on every “battle” before me.

““When the angel of the LORD appeared to Gideon, he said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."

"But sir," Gideon replied, "if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are all his wonders that our fathers told us about when they said, 'Did not the LORD bring us up out of Egypt?' But now the LORD has abandoned us and put us into the hand of Midian."

The LORD turned to him and said, "Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian's hand. Am I not sending you?"

"But Lord , " Gideon asked, "how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my family."

The LORD answered, "I will be with you, and you will strike down all the Midianites together." Judges 6:12-14.

Grace or Gloss?

Glossing over something … giving it a lustre or shine. Gloss is meant to refer to a thing, not a behaviour, character trait, or a person.

Before giving my heart to the Lord, I glossed over nothing, nor was I grace-filled. Neither of which was a good thing.

I have come to notice however, since my re-birth, that - for the sake of peace - I have become somewhat adept in giving a shine to what doesn’t sit well with me, and giving a gloss-over to things that I know are not sound according to the Word of God; this behaviour I have mistakenly called “grace”. Someone has called me on it and rightly so.

Grace is God’s unmerited favour bestowed upon an individual. I wonder then, when we extend grace to someone, are we giving them favour that is undeserved? I believe not. God gives it to us; we don’t deserve it. Why then would we be stingy with grace where others are concerned?

Grace before truth . . . this is a core value … an example of a behaviour that Jesus walked out. He never lied or covered up His thoughts, His beliefs, His values, and He never glossed over the actions of others that demanded correction. The “before truth” portion of Grace before Truth is fundamental; it infers the truth will be spoken. We are saved by grace – by God’s goodness and loving-kindness toward us. His unconditional love is expressed always, but never at the expense of correction; what father who loves his child does not correct him?

I wonder sometimes, as a Christian, if I have come to confuse grace with gloss? Who doesn’t like a nice sparkle and shine? When grace is extended however, a risk is taken - the possibility exists that the truth – when it is spoken – may very well result in exactly the opposite of what the grace was hoped to accomplish when it was given before truth. Without His grace and truth, we can accomplish nothing.

“For while the Law was given through Moses, grace (unearned, undeserved favour and spiritual blessing) and truth came through Jesus Christ.” John 1:17 AMP.

I . . . Care

Passive-aggressive is a term that described me well back in the day . . . that day seems like only yesterday and there’s a good reason for that.

The other day someone was talking to me about their past. He said, “I sure am glad I’m not who I used to be, aren’t you?” Are you kidding me? There’s no doubt that I’m glad I am not who I used to be, but here’s where yesterday fits into the equation.

People who hurt much often let offenses stew inside until it bubbles up into anger. While they stew, others can only see a fraction of who they are and how they really feel . . . until one day . . . the zingers begin to be displayed as passive-aggressive behaviour. Once that lid comes off the pot people are best to take cover.

While I was undergoing rehabilitation for drug and alcohol abuse, I learned to recognize what that lid was; my aggressive behaviour always began with the words, “I don’t care.” Once those words left my tongue every following word was venomous. Yesterday, I realized that there’s still a bit of healing left for God to work in me. While my passive-aggressive behaviour has much improved, and I rarely speak those words, there are times that I think them – yesterday was one of those days.

Usually, when a hurt/angry person says they don’t care, they do care. Lashing out is not an excuse for that kind of behaviour. I always knew what I was doing; I simply never really understood why I was doing it or how to stop. People don’t enjoy being hurt. People don’t really enjoy hurting others. I’ve never heard of anyone who enjoys being angry.

If I say, “I don’t care,” what I really mean is, “I . . . do . . . care; please don’t give up on me; please don’t abandon me; please help me stop hurting you and myself. I need to be loved.”

“So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! Rom. 7:21-25 NIV.

All Day Long

How do we become impatient? Is it something we learn, or does it come naturally? Why are some people so easy going and others not? Can we change?

When I was a young newlywed, before ATM’s were invented, people received paycheques made of paper. They had to stand in line at the bank to take care of business. Living in a city of primarily government workers meant that every second Friday those line-ups were … well … imagine a day of free coffee at St. Arbucks … yup … those were the good ole days.

On one of these fine Friday evenings my husband was waiting in the comfort of the car listening to the radio while I stood in a line that serpentined from the foyer to the counter. About 20 minutes into my wait the sound of a blaring horn caught the attention of all the customers. The driver kept honking and honking until, his impatience got to the better of him, and he simply left his hand on the horn. I was married to that driver. He was yelling and gesturing at me from inside the car. What could I do but turn red and hope no one would see me get in the car with him some 45 minutes later.

Some friends and I were talking about waiting on God – waiting to hear from Him concerning various issues. None of us doubted, for a moment, that He would answer, the question was: when? That Friday evening of decades gone by popped into my head and I started to laugh.

I wonder if, in all my impatience, I ever look like that driver to God. I wonder if He ever questions why I can wait in line at Starbucks for a latte I can never finish, and don’t really need, but I can’t seem to wait on Him. I can be like a screaming child who’s missed a feeding – answer me, answer me now! All the while – I know – I KNOW – that He answers. He answers and provides in His perfect timing and sometimes that means I need to wait. That should be enough, shouldn’t it? Honk, honk.

“Make me to know your ways, O LORD; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.” A Psalm of David 25:4-5 ESV.

Tell Me Something Good

Perhaps I’ve become overly sensitive since reaching the BIG 50! Maybe I always was and only recently have been awakened to the fact that I’m sensitive.

I have a message to share to all the wonderful people who feel it’s imperative to point out others physical faults and/or blemishes. I’m sure you mean well because I can’t imagine that you would deliberately set your mind to knock down or hurt another human being.

I have to ask … is it really necessary to tell someone, or everyone, that they have a blemish on their face, or that their eyes look puffy, or that they have a crooked tooth? Is it important to tell someone that you’ve noticed they’ve gained a bit of weight, or . . . whatever!? Is this information news-worthy? Has anyone ever been shocked to hear they’ve gained weight or have a pimple smack-dab between their eyes? How do you feel now that you’ve got that off your chest? Excuse me while I run after my friend who is now in tears . . . or my child whose confidence is beaten down.

How important is it to share this information? How do these observations help a person grow? How does this information encourage and edify? How will this help that person in any way?

Personally speaking, if my character is need of adjusting, point it out with grace before truth. If my heart isn’t in the right place, show me where it should be with grace before truth. If I’ve said something out of line, correct me with grace before truth. Tell me something good, but please - it’s really not necessary to point out, or overstate the obvious. People are all too aware already of our physical shortcomings and “blemishes”. I see myself in the mirror every single morning, and truth be told – I do my very best to hide from you what you so diligently point out to me and particularly to those whom I love.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Phil. 4:8.

Flying Solo

I’m a lover of nature – of God’s creation. It doesn’t take much to amaze me. I feel His presence most when I am appreciating the splendour of His work. He often speaks to me when I take the time to observe and ruminate, or meditate, on what He’s showing me.

A few weeks ago, while taking a walk, I heard a sound I had never heard before. When I looked up I saw a goose – one goose – flying very low and in the wrong direction. In Canada, when spring rolls around, we see geese – in flocks – flying home from their winter stay in the south. They honk from on high in unison; that sound is unmistakeable. On this particular day however I heard what one single goose sounds like. Had I not looked up, I would have never known it was a goose. It was the distance that made the difference. And why was he flying so low? Why was he alone and going in the wrong direction?

I wondered what I sound like to God when my voice is more distant than usual, when I’m calling to Him from the ground instead of meeting Him in the spirit? I wonder what He thinks when He sees me in my low times, moving about in the wrong direction, alone instead of in the flock He placed me in.

That goose was separated from his flock. Perhaps this was by choice. Maybe he thought he could wing it alone. There are times when I think the same way. I tend to distance myself from the flock because I’m naturally a loner. But too much time alone usually disorients me; I lose touch, my flight path changes and the next thing I know I’m having a long distance relationship with God.

The flock flies together; they look out for each other. They hold each other accountable and though they travel long distances – they don’t have a long distance relationship with their Creator. They soar when they are together and low when flying solo.

Are you flying solo? It's the distance that makes the difference.

“And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.” Ephesians 2:22 NIV.

Missing the Mark

Everyone has some kind of “mark” they are trying to hit. For some of us, life is one big target practice. In my BC days, I was constantly in training – always trying to out do others – always trying to outdo myself – and always missing the mark.

I wish that I could say all that stopped after giving my heart to the Lord. It didn’t – at least not right away and not completely. I came to the Lord having been steeped in sin. I believed there was nothing of any value in me as a person. I believed I was unworthy. I would look around at other people in my church community and think that they were righteous and unblemished – that they couldn’t possibly feel the way I felt. I was wrong.

The wonderful thing about living authentically in a community that does the same is that it becomes abundantly clear that we are more alike than different. I take no consolation in other’s misery; it doesn’t make me feel better about myself to hear that someone else struggles in their journey toward Christ-like character. What brings me consolation is the comfort I can bring to another who is frustrated by their journey by sharing my frustrations. It’s very difficult to be around people who hide their shortcomings beneath a mask. We all know that only Jesus has a perfect character so the masked individual is only hiding from themselves when they look in the mirror.

It is what makes us the same that grows us together in relationship and there is one thing we all share: we all miss the mark when it comes to the nature and things of God. Relationship is the place where we encourage ourselves by encouraging others in truth and in love. There is no better training for Christ-likeness than in authentic relationship with others.

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins,” Romans 3:23-24.