Unveiling Hope

Boxing Day

                                                                                                            

Subjects formerly, or currently, under the British Commonwealth celebrate the day after Christmas; it is called Boxing Day.

The premise of Boxing Day is the provision of gifts to the “lower classes.” I’m only conjecturing but it is highly possible that the boxes in which gifts were exchanged among the “upper class” were re-used to give to the poor who were permitted to celebrate the following day.

In Canada however a few things have changed since the Charter of Human Rights and Freedoms. There is no class system in Canada and we are no longer subjects of Her Royal Majesty.

As long as I’ve been alive however, Boxing Day has had nothing to do with providing for those less fortunate. In fact, Boxing Day – in most parts of Canada – is comparable with “Black Friday” in the United States, which occurs the first Friday after the celebration of Thanksgiving. Black Friday is the officially beginning of the Christmas shopping season.

I’ve never been to shop in the US of A on Black Friday so I won’t speak out of term, but I have – once – been shopping in Canada on Boxing Day and I swore I would NEVER do it again. It isn’t just a matter of the fear of being stampeded by other shoppers and believe me – they will stomp, I mean stop – at nothing to get what they want, when they want it. Polite Canadians – yeah perhaps – not on Boxing Day, but I digress.

Notwithstanding my personal feelings about the safety of anyone who ventures out on this dangerous day I have yet another issue: greed. It’s not so much the fact that the stores want to make a profit; if they weren’t already making a profit they would be out of business by now. My issue is with the fact that on Christmas Eve they will sell you a camera for $349.00 and on Boxing Day that same camera is $99.00. (Did I mention that gift certificates are very popular gifts for young people?)

On principle, Boxing Day reminds me of the gas companies who claim the prices are scaled in accordance with the “laws” of supply and demand. Isn’t it odd that the prices go down, way down, on Wednesday nights – because I guess the demand for gas on Wednesdays is a at a dangerous low. Yet, Wednesday nights the cars are line up around the block to save 10 cents a litre – and who can blame them. Even I’m not stupid enough to pass that opportunity up.

Would there still be a Boxing Day if Canadians decided to celebrate Christmas Day on December 27^th – after the Boxing Day sales?? Come on – it’s the principle that matters.

On Christmas Day we’re blessing, loving and gathering in family and community and the very next day we will “take you down” if you don’t have over that last flat screen TV.

As my friend Cindy Beall often says, “I’m just sayin’.”

Collateral Damage

For a numbers of years intelligence gathering has been the foundation of my career. A case can be made or broken based on information gathered. Evaluating the information is critical. The source of the information, and motives behind the provision of this information, must be considered prior to contemplating its use. During an investigation, sharing intelligence with a client is done on a need to know basis. Let me explain why. Let’s say that Jeff is one of three suspects in an embezzlement case. During the investigation information comes to light that details a previous enquiry into his finances, specifically – he had been suspected of cheating on his taxes, and he had also declared bankruptcy for which he is currently discharged.

If this information has been shared with his employer, and it turns out that Jeff is no longer a suspect, what will his employer think of Jeff from that point on? If there is ever a theft in the office, or another case of embezzlement, will Jeff be suspected just because his boss had “the goods” on him? Jeff will be an inadvertent casualty of a sloppy investigation? Discretion and working only with facts pertinent to the case at hand are of utmost importance to any investigator.

Recently, I was made privy to some sensitive information that had not been officially released. Last week, during a meeting, I realized that this information had been leaked. One of the members of this meeting was only too willing to share, “the real story.” The other members in attendance had no previous knowledge. Eyes and ears were attuned. I began to say that this information was confidential and not yet released. Before I could finish my sentence, this individual had begun to share the real story.

I must have looked like a complete idiot because I covered my ears and said, “I don’t want to hear this.” They stopped speaking and all the attention focussed on me with my hands still covering my ears. I removed them and said, “I don’t want my opinion about this person, or the organization, to be tainted.” But it was too late; the collateral damage had been done. Not because I heard the “story” – I hadn’t. I had stopped it just in time. The gossip was the direct hit; the innuendo was the collateral damage that stuck to everyone in the room. What bothers me most is that I was surrounded by Christians who seemed offended by the covering of my ears and my bold statement.

Once a word is spoken, it cannot be unspoken – just as a thought can’t be unthought - but a thoughtless word that’s spoken leaves the one who heard it broken.

“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned,” Matt. 12:35-37.

Caught in the Act

My wonderful pastor, Jason Boucher, is doing a series about confessions this week. Yesterday’s post was about comparisons. While I know as a Christian the only one I should ever compare myself to is Jesus, I fall short in that department far too often. It’s much easier to compare myself, (let’s face it, I’m going to do it), to someone who is literally walking in the flesh – another human being. There is something truly enriching about doing life with people who have the courage to be transparent; my pastor and his beautiful wife, Lori, are two people who have that courage.

While it might sound strange, I rarely dare to compare my spiritual walk to others. I know I’d never make the mark anyway. However, listening to someone I love and respect share their confessions or vulnerabilities speaks to my heart. I am inspired by people who aren’t always performing to an audience – you know – pretending they’ve got everything under control all the time, or acting as if they have no struggles with sin, or temptation, in their lives. I think living authentically is the greatest approach to leadership. Pretending to be perfect only inspires others to be deceitful or secretive; people usually want to follow a leader that they can learn from.

As a follower of Christ, my ministry is to lead others to Him so I can’t expect others to behave or believe what I don’t do or think myself. After reading Pastor Jason’s blog yesterday I realized that not only did I do a reverse comparison yesterday at work, but I also tried to cover it up in order to hide my insecurity thus requiring a full confession afterward.

I was comforting a friend of mine yesterday who was feeling somewhat insecure. She is beautiful. Even greater than her obvious external beauty is the beauty that radiates from within her. “If only you could see what everyone else sees. What hinders you from realizing what a beautiful woman you are? Why can’t you believe what I’m telling you?”What may not be obvious is the fact that I was insinuating that I am able to see my own internal beauty. It was kind of one of those ‘take my advice, I’m not using it’ moments.

In my arrogance I was essentially telling her that she should be like me – compare herself to me – as if I’ve got this insecurity thing down pat. OY! Did that get a look. I knew what that look meant the moment I saw it. I had been caught in the act.

If there is anything worse than comparing myself to someone else it must be comparing them to me; adding insult to injury would be my flagrant hypocrisy. I confess that in my insecurity I am also arrogant.

Allow me to express a positive side to this confession. Hey! I’m gonna find one! I’ve learned two valuable lessons: 1) speak less; 2) if I must compare, I will compare apples with apples and oranges with oranges.

The Stumbling Blocks of Gossip

Am I a stumbling block or a stepping stone? It’s quite something when we address our behaviour – behaviour that is very much within our control, but there is another step. Do I encourage unacceptable behaviour in others? Do I cause others to stumble?

Several years ago I decided that even after changing my behaviour in the area of gossiping, I was still remiss in addressing the issue of others wanting to “share their news” with me. After publicly announcing that I no longer wanted to listen to gossip I asked to be held accountable by friends and family. Easier to say than to do.

I take pride in the fact that people can leave secrets with me and I am not even tempted to share them however I must say that I find it more difficult to stop people from telling me things I shouldn’t be hearing. I’m not only leaving myself open to be tempted but I am actually causing them to stumble by allowing them to continue.

I’d like to be bolder in my assertions and not merely try and politely change the subject; this does not address the issue at hand and may leave one to interpret my change in conversation to be just that.

The truth is that I hate gossip, all gossip, even if it seems harmless and insignificant. I’ve been the subject of it and it always left me thinking that if someone would discuss the small issues of my life without me present, how could I be sure that they weren’t sharing private details. Those are mine to share. What about your opinions of me, how I raise my children, how I live my life, the clothes I wear? Is there a line you won’t cross?

The fact is that when a person expresses their private opinion about another and includes the reasons for it, the listener has already received the first dose of poison. How are they to look at the injured party the same from that point on? And believe me, the party spoken of has been injured.

This is my public notice: I don’t want to hear it, any of it. You can talk until you’re blue in the face about yourself and your own life but if you bring someone else into the conversation and they aren’t there, I will boldly speak up on their behalf, my behalf and yours. They don’t want to be talked about. I don’t want to hear it and you shouldn’t be saying it. Get used to it. I’m not going to hide away because I’m afraid to speak out and tell you how I really feel. The gloves are off – for everyone’s sake.

The Green Mile

There’s a poignant movie called The Green Mile that came out in 1999. It played on TV last weekend; I had a chance to watch it again. I tried to find out why it was called the Green Mile to no avail. It was written by Stephen King, believe it or not!

For those of you who haven’t yet seen it, Tom Hanks plays Paul Edgecomb, senior man of a group of prison guards whose jobs are to keep peace on what they call, “The Green Mile”. The Green Mile is actually the cell block of a prison that houses inmates sentenced to death row.

Michael Clarke Duncan plays simple-minded inmate, John Coffey, living out the end of his sentence on the Mile. He was wrongfully convicted but I really don’t believe anyone actually becomes aware of this fact until the end of the movie. John possesses miraculous healing powers.

Throughout the movie, all of the guards, except “Percy”, protect the prisoners and treat them with respect and dignity regardless of what they were convicted for.

The warden’s wife, who is terminally ill, becomes sicker throughout the movie. Upon realizing that John Coffey has healing powers, the guards get together and plan a “night out” for big John. Coffey heals Mrs. Moores by placing his mouth over hers and inhaling her illness. Once he had been released to his cell, rather than exhaling the “spirit” as he normally did, he kept it inside his body in order to release it on nasty Percy and a Mile mate who actually committed the crime for which he was accused. After having done this he grabs “Boss” by the hand. “Boss” is a nickname for Tom Hanks. Hanks begins to get a glimpse of the vile iniquity that had been inside one of the other prisoners he unleashed this evil into. Hanks is horrified as he witnesses, in his spirit, what heinous crimes had been committed. He tried to break free from Coffey because it was just too horrendous to bear but Coffey says, “Please Boss, ya gots to lemmee give ya’ll some of the gift so you can see why I needs to do what I done.”

Once I saw what Coffey had hidden inside his mind, I began to wonder could I experience this degree of evil and treat the offenders with dignity and respect. As a Christian, I am called to do exactly that – forgive and not judge. It’s one thing to forgive someone who says they’ll call and doesn’t, or forgive someone who’s betrayed a confidence or lied to you. But forgive someone who murdered your child? Forgive someone who raped you? Forgive a parent who abandoned you as a child? This kind of forgiveness is more than an overnight type of thing. This type of forgiveness requires prayer first – prayer for a desire to forgive, and a lot of it.

Coffey brought something to the lives of each of these men. He opened their eyes to the fact that miracles happen and the God they worship does exist. He reaffirmed the faith of those who already believed and gave hope to those who didn’t. He served from his circumstance and used his gift even though he had been wrongly convicted. He never challenged his conviction. He could have easily taken the attitude “I don’t belong here. I’m innocent. Until I’m freed, I’m not going to use this gift to help others.” He didn’t do that. He served as a vessel and did so in a selfless manner.

The final scene is Coffey walking the Green Mile. I think it was called the MILE because the Boss walked with him. He walked in his shoes when he received the vision that Coffey carried inside him. He knew what it was like to be John Coffey. I think it was the GREEN Mile because they all knew that the grass would be greener on the other side of life.

Coffey is strapped into the electric chair and asked if he has any last words. He says he’s sorry for what he’s done, but only the guards really understand what he meant. The onlookers are shouting truly hateful things at him. One of the guards takes the black hood to cover his head but Coffey says, “Boss, please don’t cover my eyes, I’z afraid of the dark.” Boss nods to the guard and they take the hood off. Boss didn’t want Coffey to live his last breath alone in the dark.

If you had to walk The Green Mile tomorrow, would your slate be clean? Would there be any judgement or unforgiveness toward others in your heart? Would you be alone in the dark, or would you be in the company of people who love, in the light?

Confidence

How does a person develop confidence? Without getting too philosophical about it, I think it has a lot to do with how much encouragement they are given. As encouraging words are spoken over them, they aspire to greater things and are moved to take action. They are sparked to develop a sense of who they are.

A high school student was working at the nail salon today. She was a vibrant young woman, finishing up her co-op in order to graduate this June. She greeted me with a smile and wanted so much to show me how much she cared about her work. The ladies were running behind schedule. She took the initiative to begin to remove my nail polish in an attempt to save time for me and for her employer. In a panicky yelp, “Linda” said, “NO! NO! NO!” The young woman was a bit embarrassed but she didn’t let that stop her. The phone rang and she jumped up to answer it but as her boss saw that her protégée was about to pick up the line again she yelped and grabbed the phone away.

I won’t bore you with all the details of my hour at the nail salon but let me tell you this much, by the time I left this young and vibrant young woman had lost whatever confidence and initiative she had when I first walked in. No one wanted to trust her with any amount of responsibility. She felt rejected and I felt rejected for her. Truly, how can you mess up removing nail polish or answering a phone, (no one knows more about these things than teenaged girls)! My heart was broken for her.

An encouraging word and a modicum of trust go a long way; it tells people that we believe in them. It builds their confidence and gives them reason to pursue bigger and better things. I wonder if her spirit was permanently damaged by today. I wonder if she’ll remember how she felt in years to come. Will anyone ever ask her, “Why don’t you ever take any initiative?” I pray those words and the tone they were spoken in will simply roll off her like water on a duck’s back. Let’s all be more careful, especially with the young men and women loaded with responsibilities to take us into the future.