God was There
Following is a testimony from our lovely Christina Fast who shares her story of childhood sexual abuse, forgiveness, healing, and how God was there for her.
Hi. I would like to start off my testimony by introducing myself. My name is Christina Fast and I'm twenty-six years old.
This topic of sexual abuse really hits home with me because I was a victim of sexual abuse beginning about the age of four (4) years.
My story of abuse is not an easy one to write for me. I already feel like choking back sobs.
My parents entrusted this person (the aggressor) to babysit me when I was young, but they didn't know that this person would one day hurt their child.
I don't want to give the name of this person because that's too personal to share. It's enough to know I was sexually abused. This person had no right to do this to a little, innocent child! That little child is me. I don't want to dig up the details of my story; it's just too sad for me to express.
Since the abuse occurred my spiritual walk with the Lord has been affected because I would later wrestle with wanting to forgive this person. But, I knew that deep down in my heart, I needed to let go and forgive him. I will always carry the weight of being a victim of sexual abuse. It is not right, in the eyes of the Lord to even harm a little child and that little child was me. It was definitely hard to deal and cope with knowing this happened to me.
I needed to talk to a counsellor when I was young and this counsellor helped me to talk it out by doing several exercises like drawing out my emotions through discussion. That actually really helped me to show my Mom, and the counsellor, what I was feeling inside about what had happened.
God was everywhere and working in me while I dealt with this sexual abuse situation. He carried me when I was weak and down. Whenever I had a bad day, He would be there by my side. God was there that entire time even though I didn't feel it then. I just knew to believe and trust in Him during this life-storm.
I clung to the truth of Psalm 46:10 knowing that He is God and I just had to be still and to feel that He is there. You are not alone, ladies.
"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in all the earth."